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  • Kirsti Gwynn

How EQ Can Help You to Figure Out Who You Are and What You Want

The foundation of emotional intelligence is self-awareness, and a big part of that is knowing who you are and what you want.


Feeling unclear about these things can create a lot of anxiety, and have you questioning the path you’re taking at any given moment.


One of the reasons I love emotional intelligence is because it’s given me a stronger sense of what’s important to me, what motivates me, and what I enjoy.


When you feel clear about who you are, what you want, and what your values are, you’re able to make clear-minded decisions.


You have a reference point to come back to, something to help you navigate life’s big decisions and a strong sense of self.


Here are 3 ways that emotional intelligence can help you to figure out who you are and what you want.



1. Understanding your strengths will help you to figure out what you’ll enjoy


This is one of the biggest questions we face in our work life: what would I enjoy doing?


When we’re trying to figure out what we enjoy from a work point of view, most of us immediately think either of what we’re interested in or what we’re good at.


If we’re interested in people, we think we’d naturally enjoy a career in psychology.


Or if we’re interested in maths, then it seems logical that we’d enjoy something to do with numbers.


But interest alone is not enough to build a life around.


There are plenty of things that I find interesting, that I wouldn’t necessarily want to spend my whole day doing. In fact, in school, I wanted to be an architect. I loved the idea - it really interested me. Luckily, I spent a day job-shadowing an architect and realised that if I was over it in one day, I probably shouldn’t build a career around that...


Being good at something isn’t enough of a guide, either. Just because we’re good at something doesn’t mean that we necessarily enjoy it.


In school, a friend confided in me that she’d only applied to study medicine because people had told her she’d be a good doctor. She wasn’t even sure she’d like it all that much.


A colleague once told me that people were always telling him what a good leader he was - but truthfully, he hated being in a leadership position. He found it exhausting.


So what I love about emotional intelligence, and specifically Positive Psychology, is that it takes a different approach.


Positive psychology helps you to uncover your strengths instead.